Great kisser is bonus.

" 挑男人没别的，就是要疼你，任他再有钱、再有才华、再帅、口才再好、智慧再高、能力再强、孝顺感动天、大爱助众生，不疼你，一点屁用都没有"

The above is loosely translated into:

"To choose a guy, is simply to choose one who dotes on you. Regardless of how rich, talented, good-looking, eloquent, smart, capable, filial, benevolent to the world he is... if he doesn't dote on you, he's shit."

You know how the internet is now floating with lists such as "20 things I wish I knew when I was twenty" or "10 things I realised at age 25"? This statement should be called "The one single thing every girl should know before dating".

It is mid-year and is the time when things are rocking along at a monotonous and predictable pace, and there are no public holidays. Perhaps that's why people are deciding to take a deeper look into their relationships; my friends are suddenly all telling me stories about "maybe he doesn't care".

What usually happens is: Guy no talk to girl, girl sad.

We are all too-familiar with such stories.

Sigh.

We've also all watched "He's just not that into you" and thought we should have wisened up by now.

I stalked chanced upon this romantic blog entry recently, and was surprised it wasn't eye-rolling at all. It was the classic example that the most fulfilling relationships are formed by two expressive people who share their thoughts and feelings with each other (but not on FB walls please).

In a world where communication is instantaneous and everywhere, where whatsapp displays your last online timestamps, there are no more excuses for the strong silent types.

Why is he not talking to you? Is he busy? Is he sad? Does it make you sad? Does he know it makes you sad? Isn't the ideal relationship supposed to be a fun and comfortable companionship where you guys make each other happy like no one else can.

Date a guy who wants to talk to you, who gives you the attention you deserve.
If not, it's such a waste. Of time. Of life. Of YOU. Of everything.
 

FRIENDS BE HAPPY!

Two people making good use of life. Totally.

By the way, thank you to the 17 people who've been reading my blog daily. It used to be an average of 24 readers a month ago, but no thanks to my sporadic blogging habits and lack of inspiring content and scandalicious photos (have you seen the ones girls are putting up out there?! Okay age is making me a prude) it's all going downhill. But I appreciate it all very much. :)

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was looking like a dead rat and I decided to do something about it.

I asked my sister for advice and she said.

"Have you seen Black Widow's hair? I really think it'd suit you!"

"Really? What does it look like?"

"It's red, a little bit permed, it's short too. It will suit you I KNOW IT."

I haven't watched Avengers yet so I googled. And found this:

 It only made me think of another person who rocks the same hairstyle.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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 LUDWIG VAN FREAKING BEETHOVEN

"YOU WANT ME TO LOOK LIKE BEETHOVEN?!"

With all respect for the man and his amazing talents, I no want Beethoven hair.

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A picture of the lovely sky I took using the lovely photography app PuddingCam.
Pictures like these make me ponder, 'Why am I in my office now?'

This picture's also now my FB timeline cover photo (I realised nobody cares whether I have timeline or not, except myself, it has always just been me against FB, so hi timeline). I converted to timeline for Pinterest (username: stingraystine).

Back to that evening.

I was clueless and kept saying I don't know/anything/up to you to my friend who was giving me options of what to eat. Thankfully I wasn't bitch-slapped and was just brought to Thieves Market, presumably to be sold off.

The uncle in the final frame saw me taking pictures, 'Xiao mei, what are you doing!' (in Mandarin).

YES, xiao mei forever! WOOTS.

Then we walked to this famous Scissors Cut Curry Rice stall.

Apparently the queue never stops till about 2am at night.
And EVERYONE'S PLATES LOOKED THE SAME after the uncle piled on the heavy duty curry.
I know, when you first look at it it's kind of WTF, shouldn't this be called MONSTER RICE?! It's not what you would call presentable. But what looks like ten thousand flavours poured onto one plate, actually tastes soooo appetising. There is no differentiation of rice or gravy or ingredients anymore, it's just... EVERYTHING.

NEXT, the amazing place that I always look upon in awe, because it never closes, it feels as if you can stay there forever and get lost in time (sidenote: perfect place for homeless people no?). And also because all the salespeople there are really cool and don't give a shit.

Presenting awesome finds of Mustafa.

With a picture like that on the packaging of this exercise wheel, who would go and buy other brands?

Check out the once popular True Singapore Ghost Stories (under non-fiction somemore). I remember all my primary school friends had one. And the rave that the author appeared to his autograph sessions in creepy mask gear and all AHHAAH.

As we were standing outside the bad habits shop (alcohol/cigarettes and other mysterious stuff), a faceless voice stopped me from photography, very expected.
Look at the jungle-themed restaurant in the last frame. I stopped and went into amazement mode (wow oh my god wow!) at the road junction because of it. It was so out-of-nowhere and out-of-place. The exterior decor had neon lights and giraffes and elephants poking out and some fake waterfall. It's amazing because it's so unexpected! FABULOUS!


After that, we trekked through Little India and had pratas at Tekka Hawker to round up my delicious and sua-ku touristy night. NOMS.
People who have nothing to do, don't complain you are bored no more.

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I picture it to be a large lumpy monster who is slumped behind the screen, claws furiously typing, accumulating till tipping point to reach out beyond the screen and grab you by the shoulders and shake uncontrollably with rage.

Everyone seems to be so angry on the internet. Or is it only extreme anger/affection that drives people with enough motivation to leave a mark online? Neutral people can't be bothered enough.

I read a flurry of angry flaming recently in a comment thread of an article. At the end of it all, someone said:

"I wonder why people can be so petty about every day trivialities."

How true! Who cares? Get out and go have tea in a nice place.

Specifically, the cafe with the best service in town.

And the best part? It's affordable. =D

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Come Josephine, In my flying machine, Going up she goes, Up she goes

I wasn't there for the boobs though. The movie itself was amazing enough, re-watching it after so many years was still as rewarding. The music, the classic scenes, the lovely storyline! To be honest, the 3D effect was wasted entirely, it's just a very good excuse (as with all old movies and their 3D adaptions) to bring Titanic to theatres again; the only 3D things were the subtitles that looked like they were floating on water.


Everyone wants to find a guy like Jack. And all girls should be like Rose, brave, intelligent, fearlessly throwing herself into the deep sea when it comes to love, and all that ultra-waterproof make-up.

One of my favourite moments in the film is when the ship is into its final sinking, Jack and Rose are up on the other side of the railings, holding on with chaos surrounding them, and Rose says,

"Jack! This is where we first met."

Jack is perfect, but my cynical friend said Jack is perfect because he died.

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I've just completed a 10km run. It was pretty well-organised, the weather was fantastic, but there are three things that I have to whine about.

 Seriously. WHERE GOT SQUARISH MEDAL ONE?! 

 

1. Ugly medals.

Medals are supposed to be round and glistening with wholesome pride, even the Yellow Ribbon one was much chio-er and reminded me less of prison. Do you know why the Olympic medals were never squarish? Because if the athletes were to bite on squarish medals for the cameras, people would think they were just having a Kit-Kat break.

2. Tights.

To be fair, the run was only marred by one thing (before I saw the medal) - the sight of men running in tights. TIGHTS. Let's make the world a better place, no more clueless men moving up and down in tights please?

3. Blisters.

About 4km into the run, I felt a digging sore in both my inner soles and had to pause and walk when it got too irritating; apparently my running shoes don't fit me for long distance. Le sigh.

I didn't think much of the blisters when I got home because all I wanted to do was to jump into the shower. But the instant the water hit my feet, I went 'Oh sweet cheesecakes what mysterious pain this is', kidding, I went 'FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK' and lifted my left foot off the water.

If the above sounds too gu niang, it's because I'm a girl. And blisters hurt me softly.

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The blue sky reminded me of Hualien in Taiwan.

The trees along the pathways provided incredible shade.

Yes, I went to East Coast Park, by myself on Friday. I love ECP, I really do. It will definitely go into my list of Top 10 favourite places in Singapore. 

Not to make mountains out of it, but did you notice that I was there, ALONE? I finally did it, did what I'd always thought of doing when I had the luxury of a totally-free weekday; it's kind of out-of-character, friends would say. They would also say I'd definitely get lost. Which was why I rented the bicycle from the kiosk nearest to the Lagoon Hawker Centre. The uncle was friendly but he pointed the wrong direction when I asked which way's McDonalds (I thought of using it as a pit-stop). I ended up cycling the other way till past the seafood restaurants and chalets till I reached the end where the huge overhead bridge was. By then I'd re-adjusted my faith towards the uncle.

There's just something about a sunny day at the beach, cycling against the soothing breeze while people-watching and entertaining my own mind that I find very relaxing.

I thought about old friends and kayaking and gatherings that we had at ECP, as I was cycling pass barbeque pits. I thought about friends who influenced me to appreciate nature. I thought about dates who made me realise the weariness of company for the sake of it.

An idea that I'm sure is not new also came into my head, that human relationships are all webs made up of strings interconnected to each other. At the start of the first connection, it was just a single strand of string. As the couple find out more about each other and share experiences, the relationship gets deeper and more strings get intertwined, holding them closer together. Which also explains the term 'no strings attached'. However when something bad happens to the relationship that causes, for example, one party to feel betrayed, then that's when one of the strings snaps too. And as more strings are broken, the relationship spirals downhill and is eventually over.

 

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As promised and dedicated to my darling sister, who has to face an orientation very very soon and, I quote her, "I don't want new friends".

I'm sure everyone who has been a student in this country is familiar with school orientations. It is a day scheduled usually a week before school starts, sometimes it's not just a day but a five-day-camp and that I give you my condolences. 

The aim of orientations is supposedly to:

On paper:

1. Bond the students together, or in facilitators' words, BREAK THE ICE. The first time I heard this I was waiting for actual ice to appear in the games that were to follow.
2. Help students familiarise themselves with the course content, operations, time-table, school layout etc, which is the only forgivable part of it.

Not on paper:

1. Allow seniors to taste the sweet nectar of power and to laugh at juniors as revenge for what they've been through.
2. To justify the existence of a student committee and welfare budget (which is usually spent on SHIT UGLY t-shirts that will end up on your kitchen floor).
3. To allow good-looking horny people get some good times (or what they think they will get by attending it).
4. To embarrass and traumatise everyone to the extent that even the best-looking ones will offset their dashing good looks to only be remembered for their faces covered in wet flour while rolling on grass.

I've had my share of orientations and its other memorable adaptions since I was from a UNIFORMED GROUP background, so you know my advice is good.


Survival Guide to Stupiak School Orientations

 

There are always awkward dances involved.

The limbo dance is not only out-of-style, it is ugly because it gives anyone who's doing it a double chin. Everyone waiting in line doesn't want to be in line. The game is sexist because girls have boobs and the only person who can do it stylishly handsome is probably Keanu Reeves.

My advice? Fake a back ache, stand aside and watch.

There are always activities that require you to touch the ground or get on all fours.

The person who came up with such stupiak activities has a serious butt fetish. He must feel happy because many a times glorious exposed buttcracks will also join in the fun.

My advice? Sit down, lie low at some corner so people won't notice you're not involved.

The activities usually require you to be in close proximity with other people holding meaningless things for an awkward length of time. And these activities are usually unavoidable because everyone participates at the same time, there's no turns-taking.

My advice? Don't pretend to enjoy it, go ahead bitch about it to the people next to you. That might be how you suss people out and find non-pretentious souls. Of course, there's the risk that no one agrees with you; in that case, remain silent and pray for rain.

I know right, if only orientations were like this picture. Dream on.

I like Emma Stone. By the ways I have a similar top to hers but mine's slightly over-washed tsk, le sigh I should get a new one. Okay bimbotic moment over.

You know what would work? Creation of a horror house and have the students brave through it. Adrenaline pumping, people bonding through adversity, and stories sharing. Or maybe games of Wii.


However orientation ideas are not of my concern. This is my final advice for all freshmen and women going to orientations: Be yourself.

I know this is pretty eye-rolling, but really, being yourself at orientations means:

• Not doing anything that you are uncomfortable with, just voice out/stay in some corner/go toilet/go canteen buy food NO ONE CARES and find some excuse to get out of that segment. Seriously, even if they state attendance is compulsory, no one cares if people are missing during the games.
• Not having to be outgoing although orientations expects everyone to be all bubbly and outgoing.
• Have a purposeful agenda of what you need to do, which basically means familiarise yourself with the school system, whatever else happens is secondary.
• Talk to people who share your thoughts. I remember first day of my poly orientation I spoke to a girl who was looking sian and scared and we bonded instantly because we were both sian and scared. YES I AM A SIAN PERSON.

Anyways SISTA, no worries. My guess is that poly orientations no longer have such games, they just make you sit through boring lectures which actually contain useful information for newbies.


On a sidenote, have you ever thought of what those stupiak orientation facilitators eventually become after graduation?


Guess.



YES, they become facilitators for CORPORATE TEAM-BUILDING. That is another level of evil all together.

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 'Love people, use things'

instead of

'Use people, love things'. 

Do you get it? It's my recent enlightenment. Basically it means that people these days are often making use of people around them, and are too obsessed with material wants, such as the iPads or the LV bags; the ideal way, should be loving the people around us, and using the things instead.


April is here. It is April's first. I was expecting to wake up to Facebook and see nonsense updates such as 'I'm pregnant!', or 'I'm giving away money to all my friends!'. Turned out the mood was more subdued this year, the only mini flurry was the Temasek Polytechnic joke on implementing uniforms. 

I remember how the teenage me used to tell my group of close friends, on April's first, that my father was going to be posted to Malaysia and I had to tag along and leave Singapore forever. I did it for a couple of years (the second year was another variation but along the same vibe), and they always believed me. One year someone told me she felt like crying when she saw my message. Though it was all fun, and reassuring to know that they would feel sad if I were to leave; after that I wised up while growing up, realising that friendship cannot be taken for granted, and thus the sensitive jokes faded off.

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I love Bluntcards I really do, they do a great job for spelling out the bitchiness that's on everyone's minds (or maybe just in my mind).

The above card is not an omen for what will be happening to me.

The aim of this entry is to announce and share my weight loss plans. This is what I'll be doing:

1. Apple cider vinegar - the brand is Bragg by the way, research shows that the other brands don't work. I'll be drinking this diluted with water everyday, and also use it as a face toner (read online that it helps to even out the skintone too.) You know, the amount of rave written about apple cider vinegar is pretty... unbelievable. This forum I found that listed out the benefits is damn funny, an example of a comment in response to the flurry of comments that were gushing about apple cider vinegar: "I was bitten by a zombie and was starting to turn so I took some apple cider vinegar and it cured me. #1 Zombie cure on the market. I no longer crave human flesh and brains."
2. Fish oil - taking this every morning, supposed to release fat cells from body easily.
3. Meals - to be made of meat and veges only (and of course avoid all the nonsense food la). 

Other than the above I'll be diligently doing the 'drink loads of water and work out at the gym' which I already have a habit of doing. 

To think of it, what I'll be doing is just to become a very healthy person. That's all.

Woohoo! Giving myself about one - three months to make significant progress.


My other plans in the near future:

1. To watch Beauty and the Beast 3D in theatres.
2. To watch Titanic 3D in IMAX.
3. To visit Titanic exhibition in Art Science Museum - ending 29 Apr.
4. To visit Andy Warhol exhibition in Art Science Museum - ending 12 Aug.

Must try to work them in during Good Friday or 12 - 13 Apr (my leave days). WOOTS!


In other bimbotic happenings:

A day when my soles fell off one after another; I asked my group mates if placing the sole on the table was socially unacceptable, they thanked me for brightening up an otherwise boring lecture and proceeded to take pictures.

Shopping is my guilty pleasure. My purse becomes a slut every time it sees the chiffon material.

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I just realised that this stupiak blog template screws up my tags, for example I have tons of interesting entries about my sister that are tagged as #sister, but when I click on the tag, it only shows one entry, and it wasn't even the funny and memorable one about us mopping the floor!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Gotta change the template to a working properly one soon.

Anyways, this was what happened:

I was in our room surfing Facebook.

Me: My Facebook is screwed up.

Sister: Mine works fine.

Me: Maybe because I didn't succumb to their stupiak timeline so they're screwing up my profile.

Sister: Oh I switched to timeline recently.

Me: Yeah I saw. You weakling, you SUCCUMBED to timeline!

Sister starts laughing.

Me: What was so funny?

Sister: Succumb.

Me: Uh-huh?

Sister: I thought of circumcise.

Me: ...

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This was the highlight of our Fitness First party. If you ask me how it was... Well, I would use the word 'community' to describe it. The goodie bag was good though, when they announced for everyone to collect their goodie bags, we instantly did 'YAYS' and 'high fives' with our eyes, the night was saved.

The words in the entry title belong to a repetitive dance/workout hit that I have no idea what the hell song it is and yet I can't get it out of my head.

Next entry: Survival guide to stupiak Orientation Day aka first day of school. Totally dedicated to my sister.

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Look at my mini loot! Notebook, a plastic zipper pouch, mirror with comb and 2-way hair elastic bands; these will be packed neatly for the birthday girl at home. The stationery shop Art Box at Ang Mo Kio Hub is full of cutesy (mostly Korean) stuff which makes it the best place to buy stuff for primary school girly girls.

Buying good gifts = sense of accomplishment, yays!

I also tried the metallic gel manicure at a promotional price of $20. It's pretty interesting. The manicurist explained to me that the nail polish contains magnetic bits inside, so after applying it on my nails, she used this round magnet to pull the bits in one direction, which created waveforms on the nails! I wanted to ask her if this means my nails will henceforth acquire magnetic forces but stopped myself.

By the way, I'm experimenting with a new layout for my blog. Trying to find the clean and super minimalist kind. This one's pretty good except it keeps showing the 'G-spot' post as the most visited entry, which, as much as I hate to admit it, is true and its statistics is because most people google for dirty topics in the middle of the night and desperado led them to click on that entry.

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All nicely taken using my humble iPhone4!

These US strawberries are huge, got them in Cold Storage at my workplace. They were looking so perfect, each and everyone of them, so fresh and radiant, that I had to buy it. They taste good too.

While I was promoting and sharing the strawberries with my colleagues, the colleague next to me said, 'You are like a proud mother!'

Damn yes. Strawberries are love.

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Ahhh what a lovely day. I got to enjoy the Tai Tai life today, finally a weekend that's like the weekend of girly dreams. Partly because I had a very satisfying Chinese dinner. Don't we all love Chinese food? Nod your head and say yes.

Here's my experience at Lao Beijing, the Orchard Central (aka the mall that nobody go one) branch.





























They served this to us the moment we sat down. This thing looks like the crackers they put in the prosperity Yu Sheng, except this was crunchier and more addictive. We managed to finish it by the end of the dinner. If they sold it in separate packets, I would buy it.

According to the receipt, this thing costs $2++.






























The waitress then asked us for our choice of tea. The above is the 8 treasures tea aka Ba Bao Cha (before adding hot water).

By Chinese tea standards, the tea is flavourful and I like that the chrysanthemum aroma comes through mid-sip.





























Receipt showed the cost of tea is $3++ per pax, refillable of course.








































We decided to take up the set meal because of 2 reasons:

1. The first 3 dishes are what I would have ordered anyway.
2. The price is right, the next picture will explain why.
   

TADAAAS!! I was the proud recipient of a $50 Orchard Central voucher at my company dinner. As we all know, there's nothing to buy at Orchard Central, so spending it on a good meal before it expires was the best option.






























It was nearing 6pm when we got settled in. The place was pretty much empty, I couldn't be bothered to find crows flying across the pictures, so here are penguins.

By the way, did you know the Discovery Channel website set up a live cam to film their penguins 24/7? You can see penguins running here and there, sticking their bellies at the camera, lying face down and sledding on the ice. It's highly entertaining, judging from the frequent giggling from my colleague.

Back to topic. The restaurant was very crowded by the time we left though, crowd was mostly tables of big big families and big groups of flamboyant men (presumably gay).






























Their service was pretty fast when the place was empty.

First up, the soup. You could taste distinctively the springy abalone and soft beancurd strips inside. Okay flavour, both of us added pepper after the first sip. The consistency of the soup was not as thick as one would expect too.






























Xiao Long Baos!! Check out the deflated one in the corner WAHAHA.

Anyways, the taste was pretty decent, the pork meat smell didn't come off too strongly... You know, like some Xiao Long Baos, fail like eating pork balls.















































Woohoo! The star of the night. Came in a DIY set of sauce and cucumbers and Popiah skins.











































































The duck skin was very crispy, I loved it. Combination of fun (not fun meh, can make your own duck wrap leh!) and good flavour. Much better than the ones they're selling at Ion basement.















































It's tofu. I thought I wouldn't like it, but I did. The sauce was very savoury (totally my type), and the tofu was well-infused with the flavour inside and outside.






























Hand-made noodles are usually not to my liking because my impression is that they are bland and too filling. You know, like you're constantly biting on thick heavy starchy noodles and forever cannot finish the noodles one. And I always see only old uncles queueing up for it.

The hand-made noodles they served us though, was fragrant and tempting. If they had given me this at the start of the dinner I would have finished it to the bottom of the bowl. But I was too full and I had to leave room for my favourite part of dinner... desserts!






























I'm not exaggerating, but both of us agreed that this cocktail jelly, was the best cocktail jelly we've ever had till date. And we both finished it despite being full.

The jelly was surprisingly springy, the syrup wasn't overpowering like canned sugar syrup and the strawberries were sweet.

Thumbs up for Lao Beijing! Woots!

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